Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: ac639@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luc F. Theriault) Subject: Staplers Date: Thu, 22 Dec 1994 18:39:37 GMT You know, if they invented staplers but they forgot to invent staples, people might feel like they're wasting their money when they buy a new stapler. -Luc Farfannugan Theriault
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: ac639@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luc F. Theriault) Subject: You know... Date: Thu, 22 Dec 1994 18:40:44 GMT You know, if there were no vowels left in the world, the word "cheese" would be spelled "chs". -Luc Farfannugan Theriault
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: luct@igs.net (Luc Farfannugan Theriault) Subject: Fireworks!!!!!! Date: Wed, 24 May 95 21:49:20 PST I saw a firework tonight. Now you're saying "What do you mean a firework... you mean fireworks!!!" Nope. A firework. It's all I saw... I was at work, driving along, and I looked at the sky near me... a firework. It was pretty nice (though not any different from any other firework I've ever seen... except that it seemed lonely). -Luc Farfannugan
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: luct@igs.net (Luc Farfannugan Theriault) Subject: Fire trucks Date: 25 Apr 1995 02:32:04 GMT Fire trucks are usually red. But sometimes, they're yellow. I hope this helps. -Luc Farfannugan Theriault
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: luct@igs.net (Luc Farfannugan Theriault) Subject: Cheeseburgers Date: 25 Apr 1995 02:33:12 GMT You know, cheeseburgers really wouldn't be the same if there were no cheese on them.
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: ac639@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luc F. Theriault) Subject: Buttons Date: Sat Jul 30 21:34:43 1994 So I get to work yesterday, and I hear something fall on the floor. I look... What a coincidence! There's a button that just fell on the ground, and it looks like the one on my pant... hey! Luckily I was wearing a belt. So I dropped by my house, and my grandmother just woke up... Me: How quickly can you replace a button? Grandma: Huh? Me: Does it take a long time to replace a button? Grandma: uh.. no. Me: Here! (hand over the pants) Grandma: I don't know where the needle and th.. Me: Don't worry! I got this under control (ok, I didn't say I've got this under control but I thought it would sound cool) I know where they are! So my grandmother fixed up my pants. She says the button won't fall off again. Cool! My grandmother is the coolest grandmother, in alll the land. -Luc Farfannugan Theriault
Newsgroups: alt.fun.with.luc From: ac639@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luc F. Theriault) Subject: Re: Speaking of lightbulbs Reply-To: ac639@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luc F. Theriault) Date: Mon Aug 1 16:47:39 1994 In a previous article, ar058@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Luci Dove) says: >BTW, have you ever considered a career as a technical writer. In my >experience, writers of technical/user-type manuals mostly lack a sense of >humour. The resulting product is therefore dry and boring. I think you >would be perfect. Well, it's funny you should mention this. I'm working on a technical manual for telephones. It starts like this: There are lots of different kinds of cordless telephones. The one you have purchased has many useful features not available on all telephones. Take, for example, the handset. Some people, who have a bad memory, do not have the handset anymore. They stare at the base all day and hope the handset comes back. This is how to use your new phone. Take the big plug thingy, and plug it into the wall socket. It's the power plug. That means if you don't have electricity, you've been shafted. If you're not sure which socket thingy is for the power, it's the one with lots of holes. Then, take the phone plug and put it in the other socket thingy, the one with only one hole, but not the cable outlet - you'll notice the cable outlet has something plugged in already. If it doesn't, why didn't you get cable instead of an expensive phone like this one? Then again, you're not missing much by not having cable - I checked. ....and so on. I'm hoping I'll be richy rich by teaching people how to use different products in their house. -Luc Farfannugan Theriault
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