"Favourite Sayings"

Favourite Sayings

Over the years I have heard many sayings that have tickled me. Some of the sayings may have an off-color hue to them so if you are under 18 years old or might be offended please GO BACK now.

If you wish to continue you will find I have attempted to categorize the sayings and have provided major headings. I will add to this list as time goes on. Friends have already contributed to this list. You may wish to use a substitute for the occasional word in order to make the saying flow better.

More Fun
More fun than poking smoke up a cat's butt with a knitting needle.

Busy
Busier than a cat covering crap on a tin roof with a broken paw.
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger with the itch.

Smart
About as smart as screen doors in a submarine.

Noisy
Noiser than two skeltons copulating on a tin roof in a hail storm.

Short
So short that he tried to commit suicide by jumping off the curb.

Sharp
As sharp as a bowling ball.

Ugly
Uglier than a can of crushed rectums.

Dumb
The lights are on but nobody is home.
A few bricks shy of a full load.
Here are some more Dumb sayings contributed by Rocco DiPietrantonio
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.
Quick
Quicker than greased lightning.

If you have any sayings you would like to contribute please send them along.

File last updated April 26, 1996

Please send correspondence to: wyliecoyote@igs.net